About Last Night

We have spent a large chunk of our lives searching for the person that will complete the other side of us. From the days of the cavemen to the people of today, we all do what we can to achieve the ultimate goal. To be happy.

Webster’s dictionary defines happy to be: Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment, or having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation). But what does this really mean? Many have different definitions of happy. We have to do whatever it takes to reach that point in our lives. This blog isn’t about being happy, it is about last night. But before you know about that night you must know the days leading up to it. Here is a story, a story full of words and emotions, my story.

A few weeks back I started talking to this girl. This girl was a friend of one of my friends and she felt like I should talk to her. My friend was on the lookout for her a good guy. Someone that wouldn’t treat her like shit or beat her. So she figured we should talk and I agreed. I took some balls and messaged her first on facebook. We talked through the day on there until I gave her my number. I figured this would be a lot easier than facebook, and I can do about my day. We talked a lot over the next week and some. She seemed really into me and my friend said that she told her the same. So I was excited when she said she was going to hang out this weekend with us. We talked a lot which lead up to last night. I stepped out of a lot of comfy zones to get to where I was. We were enjoying each other’s companies through the phone.

Talking through text is a whole new world compared to talking in person. This girl was a lot different than I would have normally gone after. But I figured I would step outside my comfort zone to see how the other side lives. It took a lot of me to do this, and I am still feeling the effects of it. Last night was a good night but yet a bad night that lead into a bad morning. Well you now know where it started not it’s time to learn where it ended.

I come off as a shy person at times, but last night I was far from shy. I was doing something I don’t normally do and it scared the living shit out of me. I get off work and go to the store to pick up some adult drinks, and then I was off to my friend’s house to meet up with her, her boyfriend, and the girl. Now I am leaving her name out of this for respect toward her and how crazy some of my friends get when girls mess with me. I get there and her face is buried in her laptop totally ignoring that I came into the room. This should have been a sign for me to just say I couldn’t stay and leave, but I didn’t listen to myself and I stayed.

The night ended up being a lot of this. Her burying her face into a computer and not really talking to me, but I sat there awkwardly waiting. I was trying to spark up conversation but it fell short. We all ended up going to the gas station later for something and I stayed in the car with my friends bf. Later I found out that my friend asked her in the store what she thought of me and she said she liked me. Why didn’t I get that same vibe from her? The night was a bunch of mix signals and a huge mess. She ended up passing out and I stayed awake until after 5 am, and I woke up with her gathering her stuff and gearing up to leave. We didn’t sleep in the same bed or anything but separate couches. She said she had an emergency and had to leave. I don’t doubt that from happening but something seemed off.

I gave her a hug and told her it was nice hanging out with her. She agreed and said she should be back next weekend for the whole weekend. I walked her to her car but she seemed to be giving me a cold shoulder. That night was a mess, but I had a good time with my friends.

Shortly after she left I went home. I walked to my place thinking about the evening and wondering where things went wrong. My friend’s bf called me saying I didn’t have to leave but he understood why I did it. For some reason I wanted to cry, but I held it in for the best of me. He agreed with me on saying she was sending mix signals all night and basically ignoring me. So why is my luck so bad? Why can’t I ever catch a break? I am such a fuck up…